How I know I’m a complete twat.


Moving printer to another room to see why it won’t work. It’s heavy, awkward and has lots of dangly bits. I bend down and hoist it up. While leaning over to get it, my stupid glasses slide off my nose and now I gotta make a dumb pucker with my lips to hold them on. On the way out the door, one cord slides off and wraps around my ankle like a medusa’s head snake cut off and seeking new housing. The other slips down the opposite ankle and snaggles around my metal monitor riser which it is now clunking and bumping along behind me like beer cans tied to the back of a ’73 Eldorado. So me, the pucker, Medusa cord and tin can alley drag into the study, and FML, the printer WAS broken to begin with.

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