The Reluctant Visitor


This is not a socially acceptable topic but let’s face it, I’m not diplomatic in my musings anyway.

I’m trapped. Not in any existential or philosophical way. I’m mean I’m literally trapped. On my toilet… I think it was the cheese I ate yesterday.

I’ve been prairie dogging it for 30 minutes. Nothing. Nada. Just me… this dark room… and no joy. Things are going nowhere, and it seems like I’ve been here forever.

You been here too. I know you have. And I know you know what I mean.

The calisthenics involved….. The rocking….Back and forth and back and forth as you begin to doubt your courage and willpower to make it happen.

Halfway through, you end up tearing your clothes off because it’s too damn hot, then two minutes later sweat breaks out on your body and you’re freezing.

And basically you’re just stuck there until something happens. Stuck with this reluctant visitor who refuses to jump into the pool, sticking only one toe in instead.

You tell yourself things like, don’t push the guest. He’ll jump in when he’s ready. But in the interest of time, you give it a go. You press the visitor to get on with it, weird sounds coming from the back of your throat and the resulting dizziness telling you you’ve gone too far.

You begin to think of the guest as a traitor, and start taking things personally, asking “why are you doing this to me” or saying things like, “I’m a nice person. This isn’t fair.”

At some point, you become desperate to end it all and cast your eyes around the immediate area searching for a chopstick, or anything pointy really.

Finally…

this reluctant visitor…

this ne’er do well …

this irresponsible sluggard…

jumps into the pool with a tremendous splash, and you are praying to that great Yahweh, “YES, it is done.”

And then you have to look don’t you? C’mon you know you do.

So you look…and there a certain amount of pride…you think……how did I ever get that out of me…it looks like a baby’s leg… an entire leg!!! Yet, at the same time, you’re supremely disappointed because you expected to see a whole rotisserie chicken in the pool given your difficulty getting him in it in the first place.

I dunno. Maybe it’s just me. I should probably drink more water during the day.

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Things NOT to say to Christians


Her: Have you heard about the Rapture?

Me: Ohmigod, YES! I fucking love Blondie.

#DeliberateAmusement #Trolling

The Willingness of Others


You know what would be awesome. Is if someone wanted to do a project then actually enthusiastically participated. I get tired of people who say yeah let’s do it, then they do nothing to move it forward.

What World is This?


The Difference Between the US and Less Developed Countries

We feel so superior to others. We disdain them as less sophisticated than us, or call them “backwards” or “peasants” when we read their stories. We shake our heads knowingly and feel a superior pity towards them.

And we think how awful for those people.

We see a post on Facebook or a segment on the evening news in which nutters from (insert country in strife here) are shouting hateful epithets and beliefs so foreign in concept, we believe them absurd. They wave homemade signs, and they look crazy.

And we think how awful for those people.

Someone sends us a blog post profiling some folks in a faraway land who can’t get a fair shake because their government is so corrupt, so hopelessly broken that it has ground to a halt. Perhaps there’s even a picture of their leader, some grinning despot with eyes lacking humanity.

And we think how awful for those people.

We slide past posts of their environmental disasters as fast as we can because we just can’t read one….single….more story, our guts contracting, and a pervasive sense of futility and helplessness washing over us.

And we think how awful for those people.

We Haven’t Come As Far As We Thought

After spending a Saturday morning perusing the News app on my iPhone, I encountered each scenario above and others that were once-in-a-blue-moon news reports, and I came to the conclusion I don’t understand this world anymore.

Hell, I don’t even recognize it.

They (whomever they are) changed it. They chipped away at it, eroded it bit by bit, these tiny bites not even registering. This pale imitator doesn’t even look like the one I grew up in. I’m not talking about romanticizing your childhood. I’m talking about it’s allllll fucking changed, a world lacking in integrity, compassion, decorum, and some goddamn common courtesy.

We used to do what was right not because we had to but because it was how we were built. We were fair. We respected and upheld the laws. We believed in things.

Not Some Third World Country

I read the news.
I read the stories.
They were sad.
They were infuriating.
They were relentless in their numbers.

And they weren’t about some backwards, easily dismissed country, they were about America.

  • We’ve held prisoners in jail for decades without ever charging them with a crime. They are treated roughly receiving broken bones, concussions, etc. and they’ve NEVER even been charged with a crime much less convicted of one. I hate bad guys too, believe me I do, but I believe in the tenets of our laws and justice system more. You don’t get to keep people in jail forever.
  • Pedophiles and sexual harassers are put up for or are elected to office with impunity. Worse yet is that persons of faith, especially prominent celebrity ministers, publicly excuse or ludicrously explain away this behavior.
  • Our government is in complete disarray with opposite sides warring with each other.
  • The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. The middle class pays for it all.
  • Anger crazed, wide-eyed hate protestors make the news regularly. Our children watch these reports on tv.
  • There is another mass shooting every week.
  • Our environment is an ecological nightmare, a fact hastened along with current federal government roll backs of our hard fought for protections.

And I think how awful for us.

Brad Pitt, Fight Club & Gritty Philosophy 


Find Peace in this Life


Stop Buying Bullshit


Find a Fucking Purpose

Amsterdam Travel Journal


4:43 AM, THE NETHERLANDS: Hanging out in this tiny hotel lobby with a sleepy eyed clerk at the desk. Drinking a 7-up, and eating Paprika flavored Lays and a candy bar named Lion. I just can’t sleep anymore tonight because of the time change. That ✈️ lag got me like…

Despite the junk I’m eating right now, I can’t begin to tell you how utterly amazing the food is here. It is beyond any comprehension of fresh you can imagine. Today I went to the “Marqdt” (grocery store) to buy stuff for a bed picnic this rainy evening. 
It was a small urban type store (all of them are) and the food selection and freshness left us with dazzled moon glow eyes. I stopped at a Fromagerie (cheese shop) who made me a gorgeous sandwiche, and a bakers’ shop on the way back to the hotel. The baker’s assistant wanted to kill me because I wanted one of everything (no, seriously-one of everything.)


Needless to say I had a veritable feast sitting in bed watching King of Queens in incomprehensible Dutch (hilarious) while the rain dribbles down on the streets outside. The hotel room is ground level, facing the street and a canal just past it. This is both a blessing and curse. It’s convenient because I am able to pop outside quickly but the Dutch like to sing, and since the preferred mode of travel here bicycle, they tend to blithely pedal past all hours of the wee morning singing at top volume. 
So far, Amsterdam is as quaint, charming and thoroughly European an one could imagine in their head. Crooked streets. Mind-blowing food. Just happy people everywhere you look zipping about their lives quite merrily. 

I am ready to move here. 

I❤️NYC


Traveled across the world including Europe and Asia.

Lived in London, Tokyo, Miami, LA.

I had never been to New York City until this year and I went twice. Incomparable. Well….maybe a little comparable. Tokyo is also a vertical city. The food was also amazing there. Lots of people everywhere, which is important to my soul.

NYC though…. The food. That park. Those boroughs. My first trip I had 3 days. When asked what sightseeing and tourist things I wanted to do, I was having none of it. The only thing I wanted to do was get to all five boroughs and eat the local food from that area. Goal accomplished! It was legendary!

#heartexplosion #foodieinparadise #queens #manhatten #bronx #brooklyn #statenisland